A Letter

So I thought I would be better about this blogging thing. Sadly, I have not!

Two weeks after being in Memphis, the directors of MTR had us write a letter to ourselves that they would mail us 6 months later. We just got our letters in the mail this past week. I had completely forgotten that we had written them. It is incredible that God knew exactly what I would need to hear 6 months from the time I wrote it. I thought I would share it with you all. If you read it knowing that all the advice applies, you can get a picture of some of the things that I have been feeling over the past several months.

6/18/10
"So you have now been back in the classroom for a few months now. I'm pretty sure you are tired and worn out. I'm curious how teaching in a middle school is working out and how sharing a classroom is going. I'm so curious how the kids are!

Regardless of whether it is good or challenging, let me remind you why you are here. - God is worth it. Your students are worth it. Out of all the things you could be doing in this world, this is one of the highest callings. God's heart is for the poor, needy, orphans, and aliens. And guess what? He chose this purpose for you - to love them, bring justice for them, and push them to be the best they can be. You get to believe in kids because God believes in you. he saw that you were wroth his Son on the cross, so now you get the blessing of giving up your life so that your kids can have a future and a hope.

I know this isn't easy. I know there are moments that you want to give up. But please remember. Please, please remember the moments and school years where you pushed through. You have had the days and weeks in past years when you said, 'I can't do this anymore.' but through the power and grace of the Holy Spirit, you persevered. Remember how good those years turned out. Remember the change in your students BECAUSE you stuck it out. Remember Brandy, Jameka, Tyshawn, Imani, Gregory, and Anthony.

Please know, now, that by pushing through this year you are making an eternal investment into the lives of countless children and their families. And the exciting thing is you are not alone. You have a group of 26 friends feeling the same things. More importantly your Father is walking every step with you, has gone before you, and will follow behind you. You get to have hope because he will do this through you, in you, and around you.

So be encouraged. Have hope. Rejoice in the suffering.

'Greater is He that is in you, then he that is in the world.'

'I will fight for you. You need only to be still.'

'Be still and know that I am God.'

Yourself"



There have definitely been some hard days and hard weeks, but God has really been encouraging me lately along with friends. I cannot believe I have made it through just a little over 6 months in Memphis and half way through this school year. I am now finished with all my grad school course work!! That is a huge victory! We (MTR residences) will spend the spring semester working on our 40 page capstone research paper while still doing our internships.

Christmas break is just a few short days away, and I am excited to spend time in Oklahoma - both in OKC visiting friends and at the parentals' in Enid. I'm really just excited for a break and a time of rest.

Superman is Real; His name is Jesus

So, so many things I should write and update on. However, that is not going to happen today. I simply would love for you to watch the movie trailer for Waiting for Superman. I highly recommend that you go and see the film. It is very informative about our education system today. I am simply copying and pasting part of the response to this movie from our MTR director, David Montague. Super encouraging!


"Superman IS Real…
… and His name is Jesus. And do not fooled by the ravages of a sinful, self-centered civilization into thinking that He does not exist.

The play on the wording is that Superman is not real, he ain’t coming and there’s no use waiting for him. Now must be the time for man-made solutions of reform to save the day.

I’m all for reform and hard, human effort to work for justice and fairness.

But that does not mean that there is not One who will come and bring power and relief and salvation from our desperate situations.

And His coming (for now) is to be done through His people. He has called His people to be people who uniquely live by a God-centered worldview and not a self-centered worldview. His coming is to come through His people choosing hard things and sacrificial things and things that provide a lower – not higher- standard of living in order to enter into the most strategic places to right wrongs… to be “dads”… to insure that every child, not just our own children, receive the same opportunities for education.

Supermen and superwomen are coming. I believe they are coming by the thousands. To Memphis. To a city on a hill, or bluff, as it is in Memphis. To let our “light so shine so that men may see our good works and give glory to God.”

And this connection was made all the more powerful as John Legend played “Shine” as the closing credits, and tears, rolled down.

I invite you little “superman’s” to come and show the world that Superman is Real and He is coming soon. And in the meantime, we will sacrificially work towards these same goals as heralds and demonstrators of who is to come."

Priceless Gifts and Seeking

I have intended to write this post for at least 2 weeks, but every time I have the chance to sit down and write, I feel "too tired" to think! But I am making the effort today!

Priceless gifts
At my school, we (teachers) do not get a lunch break for ourselves. We go with our students to lunch and monitor them and eat at the same time. Most days I stand with the line of students until the majority of them go through to get their lunch. The boys stand at the end of the line (we are teaching them to be gentlemen and let the ladies go first), so I usually have some conversations with a few of them. There is another teacher whom I always comment on how cute her lunch bag is, but I had always just carried my lunch down in tupperware. On the Tuesday after Labor Day, Calvin (6th grade boy) came into class and sat down in his seat. My co-teacher called me over a few minutes later because Calvin had something for me - a lunch bag. Now, this lunch bag is by no means cute or anything like the one the other teacher has, but I literally almost cried. It had been 3 day weekend, but at some point, Calvin intentionally thought of me and wanted to bring me a lunch bag. Although it is not cute, and regardless of whether I ever get a cute one, for this year, I will carry that bag with my lunch every day... The day after he gave it to me, we were doing the "Good Things" part of our class (when students' names are drawn at random and have to share something good that has happened in their life within the past 24 hours). Calvin got his name drawn and his "Good Thing" was that he got to give me my lunch bag. He was so proud! Priceless.

Seeking
In the 6th grade there are 103 students. Out of the 103, I have to be honest and say that there are 3 that I find hard to love well. They are just hard students. One boy in particular has really pushed me, and I had been at a loss as to how to handle him at all. He simply will not do what is asked of him (until maybe you ask him for the 100th time). As difficult as this boy is, I was challenged a week ago that I need to step outside of my self-centeredness, and make an effort to get to know this boy. The sinfulness in me kept saying I didn't want to get to know him or make that effort, but the mission of why I am where I am (God's purpose for me to be in urban education) was saying that I needed to build relational capacity with him. So, last Monday, I simply stopped him in the hall on his way to class, put my arm around his shoulder and started a conversation with him. I challenged him to make good choices and that I would check in on him at lunch to see how it was going. There was such a drastic change in the way he started responding to me in that first day. So daily, I am seeking him out to continue to try to build that relationship. By no means did this correct his behavior 100% of the time, but there has been a change in how he responds to me and the effort that I see him produce. So I will continue "seeking" him. Now I just need to push myself to seek the other two as well. :)

First Days of School!

I am such a slacker about keeping up with this blog! My apologies. Again, another month has passed, and I don't know where the time has gone!

Grad school update: In the past month, I have finished two more classes and started a Thursday night class. We all went through Capturing Kids' Hearts training for 3 days which changed my life - personally and in the classroom. For anyone who has the opportunity to go through the training, I would highly recommend it. I wish I would have gone through it much sooner.

School school: School officially started last Monday (9th). I planned on writing on here the night before school started (which didn't happen) and then the first day of school (which didn't happen), so here I am a week later. :) I am teaching 6th grade Social Studies at KIPP Diamond Academy which is a middle school of 5th through 8th grade. This is my first time encountering middle school, but I love the middle school environment! I am planning on taking the exam to get middle school certified. This is the first time though that I have had to work so hard at learning names. With 100ish students that I see for an hour and 10 minutes each day, it is very necessary for me to know names quick but also a little challenging. I do think I am so so close to knowing all of them!! Did I mention that I really like my students? Because I do! I think this is going to be such a great year with them. God has blown me away too with his answer of my prayers in regards to my mentor/co-teacher. She is amazing! We are pretty close in age which makes life fun, and she is just amazing to watch and learn from. There will be no learning "what not to do" from her. She does everything well and the kids love her! So the year has started off well (although I am more exhausted than I have ever felt before!), and I am looking forward to watching the rest of the year unfold. I'm praying that God's glory would be done in and through me.

Life in Memphis: I still continue to fall more in love with this city and feel more and more at home. I must admit that about 3 weeks ago, I hit a "I miss 'home' (Oklahoma)" spell for about a week. It feel at a time that I was able to drive to Oklahoma City for the weekend which was SO nice and just what I needed before I started this school year. I got to see amazing friends, little baby Birch and his parents (whom is getting so big!), and was able to go to my church (just felt good to feel at home and community with friends!). I came back to Memphis refreshed and ready for life here. Update: I know last time I wrote, I wrote about still needing/wanting to find a church community here in Memphis. God is faithful! There is a new church plant here in the area of town I live in called Christ City Church. I am anxious to get plugged in and get to know some other people here in Memphis that are passionate about being on mission and being a blessing to the neighborhoods and city of Memphis.

Alright. I think that sums things up for now! It is now nearing time to get ready for bed.... My new bedtime is 9:00! It has to be in order to get up at 5:00 am!! :)

July!

I cannot believe it has been more than a month since I have written last! I'm sorry about that. I cannot begin to describe how busy and full life has been (but I guess I will try since that I what I am doing on here!).

Grad classes - I have now finished two classes and completed them with an A! :) We started Saturday class last week (6 hours every Saturday for a while). That is an adjustment, but we are getting through it. This current Saturday class is about Special Education, which I am so grateful I have a frame of reference for or I think I would be lost! Dealing with all the special needs that Anthony had and the needs that so many of my previous students had, I feel I have a better grasp of what we are learning. We start another class tomorrow that will be for 3 hours each night for the next two weeks (technology class).

I am not sure that I have mentioned where and what I am teaching this year for my internship, so I will do that now! I have always taught in a self-contained elementary classroom, but this year I will be in a middle school. At the end of college, I actually thought I might want to teach middle school, but my university would not let me try one (it wasn't my certification area). Therefore, I decided I would not even try a middle school. Well, God had other plans (as He usually does!), and I will be teaching 6th grade Social Studies at the KIPP Memphis. KIPP is a nation-wide charter school. In fact, when I taught in OKC, there was a KIPP on the second floor of the building that I taught in, so I am familiar with the school. I will most likely take the middle school certification test this year, so that I can apply next year for a middle school job. The thought of this surprisingly makes me happy!

KIPP holds a 3 week summer school for their students. The MTR Residents (all 27 of us) are at KIPP for 2 of these weeks. We get to see how routines and procedures are taught and how the expectations are set. Last week was the first week for this, so I have gotten to spend my mornings with the 6th grade students I will be teaching this year. To be honest, it was kind of a difficult week, especially at the beginning. It was the first time that I had been in a school where I was teaching and didn't know the routines and procedures and how things run and operate. So I felt very lost on Monday and Tuesday. It, also, was a little difficult too because I want to already know and have community with the staff I will be teaching with, but a majority of them seemed confused as to why we were there. Regardless of the long week, I do feel better about what is to come. We will be there this week every morning, and I know that building community and learning the school culture will just take some time. But overall, I have been blown away with how these urban children have risen to the high standards and expectations that have been set for them.

Other things... I'm still loving Memphis! I'm still loving the community of people that I am surrounded by! I don't think God could have given me a better roommate. I am already thankful for the mentor teacher that God chose to put me with, and I look forward to learning from her over this next year. I think the only thing I still don't feel settled with is finding a church. I have visited several. There is a new church plant that is starting, and I went to a preview service last week. I really enjoyed it, but it is not officially launching until September. That leaves me kind of in limbo for a few months, but I know God has all of this worked out!

This blog has turned out much longer than I anticipated. I guess that is what happens when I wait so long to write! I will try to be better about that!

My roommate, Erin, and I!


The majority of the MTR at a Redbirds' game!

Community

One of the core values of the Memphis Teacher Residency (grad school program I am in) is community. For that reason, most all of the 27 residents live in the same apartment complex together for this first year. So we are basically living, breathing, eating, taking class together, studying, and having fun for the next year. Community is a theme that runs all throughout the Bible, but is seen in the example of the early church. They lived together, shared all their possessions, had meals together, grew in their faiths together, and served together.

This group of 27, this community that I am now a part of, already feels like family. It is so crazy to me that I only met them 2 weeks ago, but I feel like I have known them for such a long time. Maybe it comes from the fact that we are all like-minded in the mission for why we are in Memphis. Or maybe that comes from everyone being willing to be vulnerable and honest about who they are. Greater still, maybe it comes from the fact that Jesus is real in our lives. And since Jesus valued community, therefore we do too. I don't know the complete reasons why we have bonded so quickly, but I cannot wait to see what God has in store over the next year and beyond.

Staying on this same note about community and just how much I love these people I am with - We had the opportunity as a group to visit the Civil Rights Museum (which previously was the hotel that Martin Luther King, Jr. was shot in) on Friday. I had been to this museum once before and really was affected by it, but this time we had a guide who explained things so much better. To say that it was an emotion-filled morning would be just skimming the surface. There is no way that I can do justice to try to explain all the moments that I choked up and could easily have wept. Hearing story after story of the injustices of how African slaves and African Americans have been treated broke my heart. The reality of just how short a time it really has been since segregation was made illegal blows my mind. Living in Oklahoma, we didn't ever talk about those things, but now living in the south were people still remember how it used to be and still have the emotions that go with that time, makes the injustices all the more real. What really struck me though was that I was standing with a group of 27 people that I love and about half of them are African American. My heart broke for them and the heritage that their families have had to endure. I looked around at the 27 of us thinking, "This (being in community together, studying to be successful urban educators together) would not have been possible 45-50 years ago." Then we all went to lunch together, and again the thought of, "this was not possible - for blacks and whites to sit together and share a meal and be friends." So the morning was such a mix of emotion. On one hand hearing the details of generations and even centuries of injustices towards Africans and African Americans seemed so overwhelming, but then to look at where we are today brings so much joy. I love, love, love my African American friends! I am grateful for the countless lives of African Americans and white Americans who took a stand for equality, many who lost their lives so that community can be possible today. It was a long battle. It is one that is still not fully finished. There are still injustices in regards to the African American community - specifically urban education. But that is why the 27 of us are here (along with the 23 from last year) and those that will follow.

First Week

So I have officially been in Memphis for a week now (after a week of moving and then family vacation). So much has gone on this week! I unpacked and put everything in its place, changed my driver's license and car tags, found out that my brother is engaged, met a lot of new people, had our first day of orientation (which now has me very overwhelmed), had a Resident Ho-down (which was SO much fun), wrote my first paper for school, went to church this morning (in a house worshiping with African Refugees, African Americans, and Americans- the delight of my heart!), and tried to find some time to sleep in between all of this. It has been busy! But oh, so good!

Things I love about life in Memphis already:
-For the most part, southerners are so nice!
-The tall, full trees are so green and beautiful (and they are everywhere!).
-There are free concerts in a park at the Levitt Shell which is where Johnny Cash and Elvis played before they were big time.
-There are quite a few Starbucks around here. :)
-I can walk into a Target and/or Barnes and Noble, and just the smell and atmosphere make me feel at home!
-My roommate is awesome!
-I don't have to drive far to get where I want to go (I live in a very central part of town).
-I really like the people that are in my class! Fun times have already been had!

Things I dislike about life in Memphis already:
-It is HOT and HUMID here!
-Still don't fully know my way around.
-I don't have a washer/dryer in my apartment.
-I really miss friends from home and Baby Birch!

So far these are my lists. I'm sure I will add things as time goes on. I guess it is a good thing that the love list is longer than the dislike list! That's a good start to life here.

This is my apartment building.

My bedroom

Living room

Bathroom

Kitchen

A Farewell to Oklahoma

Wow! I actually didn't think this day would be here - my last night in Oklahoma (as it being considered "home"). But it is here, and to be honest, I am sad and anxious. Oklahoma has been "home" to me since I was in second grade, and I have fallen in love with Oklahoma City as "home" over the past 9 years. As I looked at Oklahoma City in the rearview mirror of my car tonight, my heart just squeezed within me. I'm going to miss this place! And while I will miss this city, I will more importantly miss the people. When God blesses you with such dear friends, those blessings bring heartache when you have to say good-bye. Yesterday and today have been two of the toughest days. Tears and a sick feeling in my stomach are present, but it just reminds me of how good God has been to me - best friends, a church community that has become family, a city I have loved. What more could one want? My life and character have been forever shaped by these people and this place. It is extremely hard to say good-bye.
.....

Tomorrow the sun will rise, God's mercies will be new and fresh, and I will look toward the new future that God has laid out for me. I can't wrap my mind around what is to come, but I trust it is going to be for God's glory and for my good.

Finishing Well

With the beginning of any new journey means the ending of the previous one. I'm not sure I know anyone that really likes good-byes, but I must say that I really hate endings! I even have a hard time when I finish a good book or when a favorite tv series has its finale. I simply don't like endings.

So with only 2 weeks left of this Oklahoma journey, I am such a mix of emotions. There are moments where I think about certain people or just simply life here, and I could cry in an instant. At the same time I think about what is to come in Memphis, and I get so excited! I know it can be easy to get caught up in emotion. Therefore I have been praying that God would allow me to finish this present journey well. I want my eyes to be open to the people around me even during this time of ending. I don't want to get so self-absorbed that I don't finish all that God intended for me here.

The good-byes have already begun. One going away party down and two more to go. Friday is my last day with the sweetest baby boy that I love so much. There is packing to be done and final errands to be run. In the midst of all of that, Holy Spirit, would you please give me the eyes to see the hurts, pains, needs, and joys of others and the courage to act on how you want me to help? Would you allow me to say that I finished my Oklahoma journey well?

And the blogging begins

Well, I have now officially started blogging! I have debated for a while whether I would or not, but here I am! Basically, I want this blog to be a place to journal my upcoming adventures (and for those few people who want to come along for the ride). My hope is to share the joys as well as the challenges that are ahead. So what is this new peregrination you may ask!

I am moving to Memphis, TN in just over a month (gosh, I can't believe it is that soon!) to start graduate school to get my masters in urban education. I was accepted into the Memphis Teacher Residency (MTR - you should look it up online!). A group of 30 of us will be doing our grad school studies together and living together for a year. We will graduate with our masters after that year, and then we will commit to teaching 3 years in a Memphis urban school.

One of the greatest missions that God has given me is "to love the unloved and disadvantaged children." That has taken many forms over the past years, but this is the new adventure. There is such a HUGE need for good urban educators. And I see how perfectly God has laid the steps out for me to be in Memphis "for such a time as this." And for that I am truly humbled.

So the stories are about to come!